september 12, 2026 — not as nice song of the day — my moon my man by feist
Today has been painfully slow, and it really doesn’t help that I woke up ill. It’s run through my entire family before finally settling on me, and I won’t lie, I’m really frustrated . . . because not only am I sick, I started my period this morning ദ്ദി ╥ ᴗ ╥ ) feels like the universe is laughing in my face.
Although it’s rather easy to forget about things when you’re unemployed. As a result of me shipping out in two months, my mother has graciously asked me not to work—which I don’t mind—it would be a bigger burden to do that anyway. All this downtime gives me time to recuperate and focus on working out, alongside indulging in a few hobbies I’ve long since neglected. However, it’s a lot of time I also spend thinking, and in turn, I’ve resorted to spilling everything out whenever I get the chance. I have a feeling I’ve been talking way too much.
Today I drove my brother to his friend's house, and he told me that his friend's mother has never—yes, never—gotten road rage. And I don’t know whether or not I feel bad, because when I first started driving, I was so easily peeved. But honestly, when I think about it more, I believe it’s genuinely admirable how someone can have not only so much self-control, but also so much empathy for others. I think I’m going to start working on my road rage.
My friend finally graduated bootcamp yesterday, and I know she’s been busy & miserable. I’m so, so proud of her; I can’t lie. 3 months of bootcamp does things to you, and I know very well that she isn’t fond of being high-strung. I’m going to call her tonight and check in ^ ^
september 13, 2026 — proud of her song of the day — damned by miguel
I had a good day today! I did a lot of house organizing with my mother and cleaned up quite a bit. I try to make an effort to clean something every day, but I find it's a really difficult habit to maintain—especially because I tend to hyperfocus and end up cleaning way more than I originally planned.
This morning, I called my friend who just graduated from bootcamp. She graduated two days ago, and I couldn't be prouder of the woman she’s becoming. She enlisted for air traffic control, which involves a 4-month program in the Marine Corps followed by 1 month of MCT. Five months in total isn’t bad at all, but part of me wishes it were a bit longer so we could see each other again under more convenient circumstances ( ╥ ᆺ ╥ ；)
I also finished Madoka Magica! I really enjoyed it; I didn’t expect the ending to hit me as hard as it did. There are so many good things I can say about it. Endings often feel underwhelming, rushed, or lacking in emotion, but I think Gen Urobuchi did an incredible job crafting the final episode. I genuinely loved this show; all-female casts are so rare, and it’s a quality I love in media—Madoka Magica executed it so, so well ( ◡ ‿ ◡ ). I also really appreciated the subtle inclusion of soft masculinity through characters like Tomohisa and Kyosuke.
september 15, 2026 — kind of good song of the day — alive by jessie mazin
I think today was as good as it could be. Although I’m sick, there was a lot about today that ultimately lightened the blow. I finally fixed my contract with the Navy and redid my PSSQ ( . ❛ ᴗ ❛ . ) The process was much easier and far simpler than I initially thought it'd be. I think in the back of my mind, I kind of wish my rate wasn’t so complicated and secretive. It’s difficult to find information on it, so I’ve struggled to envision what my day-to-day would be like. I want to be important, and I want to be busy. Those are the two things I wish for. But at the same time, I think I would've been okay with a field that helped others more directly.
I started watching Scott Pilgrim, the animated series, with my friend the other day too. As I write this, I have exactly 1 minute until our dedicated movie time starts. I think it's quite funny, and the art is really good! The story is really unique, so even though it's objectively bad, it entices me, and that’s what matters. I’m a fan of Wallace, but I can’t lie, I don't think I have a favorite character. None of them really speak to me. It’s not the greatest show.
Sometimes I feel like my mother expects a lot out of me. It’s tiring being the daughter who doesn’t really cause trouble and still has to maintain that disposition. I feel like so many responsibilities get dumped onto me. It’s not that I mind them; I think contributing is good, and it's something I’d happily do for my mother. But recently she’s been so outwardly critical and demeaning about everything I do. I try my best, but I take criticism from close ones to heart. And even if it's minor and something I’ll let go, it still really hurts sometimes. Especially when I’m already making an effort to be that shoulder she can lean on when she feels overwhelmed. I just feel really underappreciated. I hate that.
october 7, 2026 — so much stuff song of the day — the second sorrow by ichiko hashimoto
It’s weird! Time feels like it’s going by so slowly, but when I look at the date, I get closer and closer to my ship date. I’ve spent a lot of time putting as much energy and time into my hobbies before I go, so I feel like I’m always doing something. But I feel unfulfilled and bored in a way. I’m unsure how to explain it; I guess I’m just at a loss as to how to feel about having this much time to myself. I always did have something to work on. Whether it be work, schoolwork, or friendships, I’ve never actually had this much time completely for myself. I still foster all of my relationships, but not to the extent I did.
I won’t complain. I will say, there's a lot of comfort in self-sufficiency. I did end up purposely distancing myself from quite a few people, as I often do. Though I think it’s actually helped to focus my mind and ease my nerves.
I began cross-stitching! It’s really enjoyable. Mindless work, especially when you just want to sit back and watch something. I started my first pieces on only aida fabric, before moving onto actual cotton. I thought it would be way more difficult than I found; the hardest part about it is ensuring my embroidery hoop doesn’t move around. However, I didn’t get water-soluble fabric for the shirt I’m doing, so I’m going to have to pull the thread from the cloth individually after It’s complete . . . I’m a little nervous it’s gonna be a pain in the ass. I saw somewhere that dipping the edges in water will fray them, making it easier to remove. I’m going to try that ( ᵕ ´ ∇ ˋ ˶ )
I started watching Abbot Elementary in my downtime, where I write, code, draw, do anything that doesn’t take a lot of brainpower. I’m not a huge fan of sitcoms; they can be boring and generally don’t entice me much. Especially adult ones. But I really like Abbot Elementary! Honestly quite funny and not over the top, I really appreciate that it’s not obscene.
I’ve come far in my workouts. I went from like only 10 pushups to 20 now. My upper body has been in a lot of pain. When I stopped working out a few years ago, I think I lost how it felt to constantly be sore somewhere, especially when I was building muscle. Now that I’m doing it all over again, it feels harder. My running has improved too ദ്ദി◝ ⩊ ◜.ᐟ I do like running, and I’ve managed to get my casual runs down to 7-8 minutes. A while back, I ended up vomiting after doing a really difficult run, so I’ve consciously begun slowing down to work on control. Although, in the future, I would like to indulge in faster, sub-6-minute miles.
And finally, revamping my website. God, I’m soo glad I did it. I loved my old one, but it just didn’t feel really in touch with who I am personally. I’m really happy I spent the time to change it; it makes me actually want to and enjoy working on!
